WRITING: Accepting

At the point of me breaking down, feeling all alone and helpless, I realized, I am blessed with strong ladies surrounding me who are so dear to me and being tested with so many things and yet managed to pull through. One of them is my dear friend who just lost her child at the 11th hour of pregnancy.

In my humble opinion, this friend of mine is nothing but strong! Being a mom has never comes with a manual with it. I, myself went through three pregnancy mode and Alhamdullillah, everything went well with not much complications despites of me having a bad all-day sickness throughout all three semesters for all three pregnancies.

Having ‘something’ in your womb is nothing anyone could describe it exactly words by words, and therefore, to have the opportunity to carry a soul in your very own womb is nothing but a blessing miracle.

I’ve known few strong mommies who had difficulties during their pregnancies; getting pregnant itself is a complication, making sure the cells that become one beats healthily is another qualms, let it grow safely without ‘disturbing’ us is a challenge and welcoming the little mass securely to this physical world is always full of anticipations.

For whatever, we would want the soul to come out safe and sound, ten fingers and ten toes and all well.

But we are only human, the creature that Allah created with its purposes and all well written and well planned for. And from Him we came from and back to Him we shall go to.

Some of us are lucky to have been able to see the little soul who was just a heartbeat, grow up fine and grace right in front of our eyes.

Some was lucky enough to get the chance to bond for a short while before the soul was taken back to The AlMighty.

This friend of mine, lost a soul on her fifth month of the pregnancy and we were sad for her. But that was nearly a year or two ago.  When we found out that she got back on her own feet and was blessed for the fourth pregnancy, we were ecstatic. She was due anytime when we met up with her (at times the picture was taken). Who could have thought the what would happened next. We got a message from her that she has lost her child that she carried for nine month and was due ‘soon’. The soon came not as we’ve expected. The baby was healthy, and until today, I don’t have the heart to ask her what really had happened… I am still mourning for her, and I knew, in her smile, in her laugh, in her words, she is still missing her baby Jayden.

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you, and perhaps you love a thing
and it is bad for you; and Allah knows while you know not.  
{Al-Quran 2:216}

Rest assured, you never lost that child – I know, you know, we know. How blessed are you, having not one but two of your own flesh and blood waiting for you up in the Heaven, InsyaAllah.

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