Apology (n) as being defined in the Oxford Dictionary is :
- A formal expression of regret at being unable to attend a meeting or social function.
Parents, this is definitely among the words that our children NEED to learn, and use it as often as possible when it’s required. This is definitely one of the power word that not only children need to know, but also adults.
As per my earlier post, children learn the art of achievement and acknowledgement and children entitled to be angry. Children need to master the art of apologizing.
Saying you are sorry isn’t easy for anyone-especially children. Some may not understand why do they need to say sorry and some may refused to do it. This is how nurture comes after nature. Lead by example. As adults, if we are not right, we are not right. We should apologize when the occasion arises. Especially of the wrongs are towards the little ones. By admitting our faults, not that we showed them how it should be done, we will also earn respects from them without us asking.
Children need to learn the value of apologizing. The need to understand why they need to do it voluntarily and how they could offer an apology. Don’t deny me when I said that most of the time, we have to force our children for an apology, which should not be the way.
How can we help our children to say sorry and mean it?Children need to understand these three concepts in apologizing:
- Reflect and remorse. They need to understand what act they have committed and why it was not appropriate. By understanding the root cause of the issues, children would be able to evaluate and identify or even justify the mistakes they’ve done. The natural feeling of being sorry for their action will surely stream through then.
- Righteousness and repent. Upon understanding, teach them the how they could make amend on the mistakes done. Guide them the right way to say sorry. It’s not supposed to be as easy as saying ‘sorry’and that’s it. Children need to know the correct body language (the eye, the hand and all) and the right words when saying sorry. They need to say it out loud why they are apologizing so that related parties understand and so do themselves. They need to make a pledge to themselves not to repeat the same offense once they offer an apology, be it intentionally or unintentionally.
- Recompense and remedy. For the mistakes they’ve made, should they be any physical compensation requires, they need to compensate accordingly. It’s the penalty they are paying even after they showed their regrets and promise not to repeat the offense.
We do not have to be angry when things happened. It’s not the end of the world. Teach them in the loving manners so they know that we meant well and not to find faults. However, do be firm so that they understand this is serious matter. May our children grow being a responsible person they should.